Question by Michael Smith: I find it hard to care about my family. i don’ think i love my family?
My family is very supportive of me, very caring and well off financially. In my childhood my dad hit my dog (a couple times) in front of me, hit me a couple times when I mis behaved, and my parents fought occasionally, but nothing serious. My mom walked out once for like a day and my dad disappeared for a few days once but that’s it. My dad also used to travel a lot, sometimes months at a time (for business). When I was 8, the closest person in my family was my Dad’s, Dad. But he shot himself when I was eight right as I was on my way to visit him. I have an older sister, younger sister, and younger brother. I don’t talk to any of them. I avoid my family as much as I can, I live at home but stay out till late; a couple times i came home at 5am on a school night.

It’s like I try to not make any connections with them. I for some reason want nothing to do with them. And sometimes I fear why I don’t love my family. Even once before, I imagined my life as if my dad were dead, and I felt sort of relieved, but also sad when I thought about him being dead. I’d be devastated if my family members were harmed or dead though, and if they were directly attacked by someone I’d defend them. But I just for some reason can’t look at them, can’t talk them, and feel uncomfortable by their presence. Since about a year ago, my dad started getting home at a decent hour from work (as opposed to like 3 am). So as soon as he came home, I’d leave to go to the coffee shop.

I thought that maybe because my Dad’s, Dad died, I was afraid to build family connections because that scarred me, but I don’t think that’s the case because it wasn’t until I was about 16 that I started disconnecting from them.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense, or if this is normal. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and have been on medications for about 2.5 years now. I stopped smoking weed as of 4 months ago, and I rarely drink alcohol–i just got out of rehab for attempt of suicide and substance abuse. (my dad’s an alcoholic too).

I just don’t feel love for my family, but I feel angry at myself for mistreating them and ignoring them. While I’m ignoring them I don’t care, but after the fact then I feel bad. I care about a couple of my friends a lot, and recently lost a close friend for the third time. I care more about my friends than i do my family. I wish sometimes my friends were my siblings.

I “can’t” love them, does anyone else feel this way?

Best answer:

Answer by Ashesandsnow
youre not alone. im not alone. maybe were not alone.

Answer by Derek
Family has nothing to do with the blood that flows through your veins. Just like you will not like every person you meet in life; you will not like some, most, or if not all of your family. Family is the people you want around you, not necessarily the people who birthed you and raised you. Your feelings are not unique.

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