Question by Mama Extraordinaire (:: I was molested when I was 14 & now nearly a decade later, I am having serious problems?
I know this is a very touchy subject for most people (including myself), but I feel a lot better asking the yahoo community than talking to a councilor, psychiatrist, family members, or my partner. I’ve started experiencing flashbacks a lot lately, having major problems controlling my emotions, my concentration is shot (being in college, this is a problem), having security issues, trust issues, self esteem problems, especially problems talking about anything to anyone, which is why I am typing instead to a crowd that does not know be personally or I have to worry about meeting in my everyday life. If you know what I’m going through, had this happen to you or someone close, please I am just looking for some advice that helps you with your everyday life, relationships, work, school, etc.

So far, seeing a psychiatrist, various councilors over the years, talking about it to few people in my close life hasn’t helped at all. Ever since the time it happened I’ve had major issues socially, in relationships, in school, working (currently unemployed), drug & alcohol abuse, basically every aspect of “normal living”. Please don’t just write, “See a Shrink” or “Go to Rehab”.

This is something I’ve lived with for a very long time. Thank you.
Thank you for the advise so far, but one thing I can’t help but comment on is that everyone goes through situations similar to this one; I seriously beg to differ. I am not trying to obtain pity from anyone or say that my situation is so much more horrible than anyone else’s, I am merely looking for a little comfort from someone who truly knows what it’s like to be “in my shoes” who has been molested by someone more than twice their age who was a close family friend. I am curious to hear advice from someone who has dealt with this situation or is currently “coping”. I am looking for advice/answers not someone to tell me my past is just an excuse for the present, when the past is still effecting me on a daily basis.

Best answer:

Answer by Sebastian
Try a support group. Sorry for what has happened. Really hard to speak and share views on this. I would say look at doing for others, how you can be of help to others in similar circumstances. I remember the day Bill Cosby “lost” his son to homicide. HE got on the phone and consoled a mother in PA, Philly, who had also lost a child shot on a bus. Something about that really stood out to me!
Pray if you do have prayer in your life.

Answer by Just Me
Unfortunately, the only answer is the one you don’t want to hear. The only way you can put this behind you is to talk it out with the “right,” person(s.) You obviously haven’t found that person yet or you have not taken the appropriate advice to heart, actually done the work and followed the steps in learning to cope, regain control and manage you own life.

It is possible. The majority (not the minority,) of us have been through similar circumstances and the majority of us learn to “put it where it belongs,” and move on. It takes work but the work is up to you and positive results are probable. If you can’t (with the help of professionals,) reach a place were this no longer controls your life, more than likely you are consciously or subconsciously using the experience as an excuse for your own failures. That may be hard to hear but it happens all the time. Continue your quest for professional help and actually DO the work it requires. That may include confronting your molester either literally or figuratively. Regardless, just follow through and do whatever it takes.

Edit…I knew the truth would hurt, it usually does.

Edit…And I will again disagree with you and stand by my statement. I too, was molested as a child by more than one individual and one of those individuals happened to be my own father so I think I am entitled to be one of those who are “in those shoes.” I don’t take this subject lightly nor would I offer any advice I hadn’t taken myself. Though it took many years to overcome, one thing I learned through the process was, I am certainly not alone.

As I began to open up, I was shocked to learn how many of my own friends had been molested at some point in their childhood. Again, I’m inclined to believe you have been talking to the wrong people if you are still this naive to the realities out there. You are still quite young with most of the work ahead of you so this doesn’t surprise me. That doesn’t change the fact, we are NOT the minority by any stretch of the imagination, especially when you stop and think of the number of individuals who are still keeping their experiences to themselves and sharing them with NO ONE.

Add your own answer in the comments!

 

 

Christian Alcohol Abuse Rehab Center – http://ChristianAddictionNetwork.com – Generally, the personnel of Christian alcohol rehab centers are humble, cooperative, honest, caring, and respectful. Most reviews on the alcohol abuse…