Question by flood: How to be less self-concious and live in the moment?
About 6 years ago was the peak of my cannabis abuse. I used to smoke so much that I stopped talking to people I didn’t know, I was with a friend for 99% of that time who had no social skills what so ever. We would stay in all day, smoke weed and play computer games. A year later I went to university, I was so anxious that I stopped attending lecture and the labs. I went to my doctors and he diagnosed me as depressed and put me on Sertraline. I passed university simply by giving doctors notes about my condition and I taught myself all the material required from the internet and continued to hide from the world. I was depressed because I had no confidence in my vocal communication abilities. The anti-depressants started to make me feel better but I still wouldn’t leave my comfort zone and had later found out that what I was experiencing was social anxiety (self-diagnosis). I know that my lack of social skills is caused by not facing the world.

Now after passing university, getting a job and moving into a house share with 3 other people, I now find that I HATE the experience of talking to people. I tend to think about how I sound more than what I’m saying and it comes of completely robotic. It just feels like there’s no real substance to what I’m saying. I’ve not made people smile, laugh, become upset or anything for years. I honestly feel like I don’t fit into this world anymore and if I was diagnosed with cancer and were to die tomorrow, I wouldn’t feel sad. Why would I when I can’t form meaningful connections with anyone, I can’t “get out of my head” and feel emotions. I just feel empty and want it to change.

The question is how?

At the moment my life consists of: going to to work, come home, stay in bedroom or sometimes go for a drink with work colleagues where I’m just some guy who tags along for a couple of pints. I feel completely worthless and if it continues I may just consider suicide.

If we’re going to get religious. My life given to me by god is a punishment. Suicide feels like an opportunity to give it back.

Best answer:

Answer by Veni
You should call your doctor and let him/her know how you feel. It could be the side effect of your anti depressant.

Answer by ??????? ??ll?q? ???????
Life is hard has hell, but we can turn things around.
Why do you feel the need to sound superficial and impressive anyway?
This sounds culture related.

One thing is true from which we can’t escape; if we overindulge in anything at all we may suffer the consequences. Like sadness, if we’re feeling sad for too long for whatever reason, or have experienced damaging emotional trauma and don’t deal with it, we’re in danger of inducing a little depression upon our selves. (Even flying high for too long can cause depression ~ living the high life, or becoming way too confounded and identified with material things – worldly goods – seeking happiness outside of our selves) – All material things are temporal and not to be identified with.

“Materialism, attachment to things of the world, includes pride. Many religious people suffer from pride: taking pleasure or even delight in being good, or religious.”
? Idries Shah, Sufi Thought and Action

You can’t beat a good diet (Fruit and veg, something green), exercise, keeping the mind/brain exploratory which we need in order to discover and drive our goals, also to find a little enjoyment in life from time to time.
Negative mentality and emotions can give rise to an obfuscous mind – pondering on negative thoughts and bad ideas for far too long.
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Procrastination can be a trait linked with a little depression, we can, and often do find reasons not to do things or change our selves, or even find a little enthusiasm.
Keep it real, avoid drink, drugs and smoking, and find some enjoyment in something once in a while.
It’s amazing how many of us beat our heads against walls (Minds in boxes, the insidious nature of TV and the internet can be poisonous and subconsciously affect us in ways we sometimes don’t fully understand due to the unconscious machinations of hawks whom cash in on human frailties) – (Idols who superimpose and impression the minds of children with their pretty faces, perfect body’s, sexuality and violence)
A major weakness of people being suggestibility with a propensity to become identified.

False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
Phædo 91 Plato

Just down the road from us will be rolling country side with amazing views, running streams, lakes and the seaside.
Church groups, Dance, Local Charity Groups, – Mountain biking or cycling clubs are great, camping out, fishing, walks along the hills and mountains, walks along a beach, photography, this is our true nature. Cities and towns can be destructive entopy’s, it’s good to get away sometimes.
Or even visa versa if you live in the country, because a change of scenery really helps.
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Drive yourself, Learn a language.
Create poetry, art or learn a musical instrument, then give what you have to others because creating is really good for us. This is good for humility too.
What we give to others we give to our selves. (So in a nut shell, sow good seeds, have faith and do good works) Also never dismiss the idea of future education, eve 40 years old’s still go to school.

Relaxation.

Great music (Don’t science like a religion)
You saw the whole of the moon

Learn about spirituality.
Ramana Maharshi. http://peacefulrivers.homestead.com/maharshi.html
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“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.”
Gautama Buddha. (aprox 563-483 BC).

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

 

 

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