Question by Longwaytogo: How to boost your self esteem and let go of toxic people in your life?
I come from a very toxic family. My parents both emotionally and mentally abused me, calling me names, putting me down and emotionally blackmailing me all my life. My cousins who were like sisters to me did the same, always calling me fat or dumb. As a result, I used their bullying to fuel my determination to be the best I can be. I pt myself through college and landed a prestigious job at Google. I’m 28 and I’m very proud of myself, the problem is that because of the abuse I suffered at their hands, I tend to gravitate towards people who are damaged and treat me like crap. I had two boyfriends so far and both were abusive.

After going to therapy, I finally decided last year to say no more. I severed ties with my family and several toxic friend to focus on taking care of myself. The real test came when I met a guy who was nothing but trouble ( rich, spoiled, heavy drinker, takes drugs and treats girls like crap).I was very attracted to him even though I knew he was no good for me. I mustered up the strength to never contact him again from the moment he acted like a jerk ( which was on our 2nd date). A few weeks later, I met an amazing guy who really treats me like gold. Even my friends adore him. We’ve been dating for 8 months now and he’s my prince charming. Problem is that I often feel like I don’t deserve him. I’ve been mistreated for so long that it registered in my mind that it’s all I should get. How do I let go of my self-destructive thinking and give myself a chance to really be happy?

Best answer:

Answer by Suckamy
Honey, you need to realize that we are all equal. It doesn’t matter what your background is, nobody is any better than you, I promise. You definitely deserve this guy you gone through way too much crap it’s about time you finally got a break.

Answer by Heather
you should GOOGLE it ! ROFLMAO!
I hope you know that I am just playing and trying to cheer u up!
I totally understand where you are coming from because I was emotionally and verbally abused by everyone in my family when I was growing up and I am 38 now. So everyone in my family has passed away. All that is left is my uncle, moms brother, and my two kids. See I do the same thing you do, I am like a magnet to guys that are frickin losers! You should be really really proud of yourself. I let my family bring me down and I screwed myself out of a good education because I was a nervous wreck and had a horrible foundation at home so I never did good at anything I did. My uncle is the only one left like I said and to this day if I ask him for a nickel he will tell me what a piece of shit I am and how I have always been one since I was a child and he knew I would never amount to anything. So I tell myself I will never ask for help from him and he will offer things to me and I say yes and then the lecture and degrading comes again even though it was a gift. Nomatter what I do I cannot cut that tie. The emotional abuse has me in tears three or four times a week. So kudos on setting your boundaries. K….YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WELL! DON’T EVER EVER THINK YOU DESERVE LESS. Don’t mess it up, give yourself a chance to be happy with this great guy. Maybe you can tell him sometime how things have been for you. So here is what I try to do. It works more than not. If you have a negative thought trying to enter that brain, think of something positive and push those negative thoughts away. Try to only FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you, because you have been through enough and you sound like a great person who deserves the best. You made it through an abusive life and now you are on the other side. I don’t mean to sound cliche but what about some counseling. I had to, not as a child but here in the past few years so I could sit down and ask what the hell was wrong with me. Why am I such a piece of shit. I really believed and sometimes still do believe I am a piece of shit til this day. It has taken a few sessions to say the least to begin to think different. When someone puts you down over and over and over you believe those things. So seriously…try some counseling and remember, you have never done anything to deserve what was handed to you. But the good things that have come your way, make sure you give yourself ALL of the credit for succeeding and realize you are awesome. You did all that while having no self esteem and you made it. I think you deserve this man and you need to make sure you take care of your emotional problems so you don’t sabotage the relationships that you get into. I have a tendency to do that. You have the whole world by the tail, take advantage and take care of yourself emotionally. Pass a great attitude and self worth down to your children. I think you are going to be fine. Look how far you have made it. Congrats on your prince charming! Don’t ruin it by thinking you don’t deserve it. Give yourself a huge pat on the back and a lot of credit and BE HAPPY HUN!

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Self-Esteem and Self-Worth – Therapy – Working it Out Together –