Question by Olivias Mommy?Faxing Berlin: How to plan an intervention for a friend?
….whose a pill and alcohol abuser. Hes been abusing since he was 15 and now is 23. He is extremely manipulative to his friends and family. There was an occurrence the other night where he bruised up his moms arm and broke his finger fighting with his dad while he was trying to slash his arms. He also cut his dad in the process. His parents feel like theres no solving this problem, but his friends want to plan an intervention stating if he doesn’t seek help we will no longer be there for him.

Best answer:

Answer by FireFold
The intervention

Addiction and recovery statistics are often produced by those in business to profit from them, and as such are not always reliable; but the consensus of addictions professionals seems to be that there is no other more effective way for family and friends to convince someone to get help than a well run and caring intervention.

An intervention is a non confrontational confrontation! What this means is that although the addict will be forced to hear a lot of painful and poignant testimonies, and these are directed at him or her…for the intervention to have the best chance for success the tone of the meeting must be non confrontational, respectful and loving.

Who should be involved in an intervention?

Anyone close to, or influential in, the life of the addict should be invited to participate in the intervention. The intervention is so effective because when the addict is confronted with the simultaneous testimonies of all meaningful people in their life, they can no longer use denial defense mechanism against the weight of the contributed evidence.

All family possible should attend, and close friends and work peers may also be invited. Those too far away to attend in person may choose to call in and participate, or have their thoughts read through a written letter. Children should also be invited to participate, as they are also affected by the behaviors of the addict, deserve to have their voices heard, and can offer some very compelling testimonies.

What should be said?

Everyone in attendance should speak, and they need to tell the addict how that person’s substance abuse has affected their lives and damaged their relationship. They need to give concrete examples, explain the hurt and worry caused and the anger felt. They need to demonstrate that they speak out of love and concern, and also need to give some clear consequences for the addict should they refuse to accept offered help.

What’s the goal?

The goal of an intervention is to convince the addict to accept treatment help for their abuse behaviors. Treatment should be pre arranged for them, and if the addiction is serious enough, they should be convinced to proceed immediately from the intervention to a waiting treatment facility.

The point is to remove all obstacles to entry, so bags should be packed, responsibilities arranged for, and accommodation at the ready.

Potential problems

A poorly run or confrontational intervention will not likely do much good, and can even make things worse. Because of the behaviors too often associated with addiction, many of the participants may have conflicted emotions about the addict, and may feel some anger or shame mixed in with love and concern.

It is vital that the tone of the intervention stay non confrontational, and most experts advise that everyone involved do at least one practice trial run before the day of the event. By practicing what is going to be said and how things will run, things will go more smoothly when it really matters, and people can overcome feelings of apprehension over the event.

Should you get professional help?

There are a lot of intervention services that offer their professional expertise and experience to assist in the running of an intervention. These can be expensive though.

They offer expertise, will organize meetings and practice sessions, will help the family to select appropriate treatment, will run the intervention and ensure that the tone and proceedings stay as planned, and they will even arrange for transport to a waiting treatment facility.

If the family cannot seem to organize itself, if the negative emotions of family members threaten to derail the process or if the family just wishes outside council, it may be a good idea to consult with a professional; but it is not necessary, and many families do a great job without any outside assistance.

It’s important, it can work and it’s worth doing

Even if an intervention does not convince an addict to accept the need for treatment, the act of the intervention empowers the family, and there can never be a return to the way things were.

Interventions work most of the time, and even if someone doesn’t concede to treatment immediately, they often will with time. Family interventions are the best and most loving thing a concerned family can do for a person struggling with substance abuse and addiction.

Answer by Andrea
Interventions can work but only if you have a plan and stick to it…..He should have been arrested when he assaulted his parents… but parents may have a hard time doing that. They need to, he needs to realize the consequences of his behavior before he will have motivation to change………. As long as anyone helps him in anyway they are just enabling him…… he needs to stand on his own and face the consequences……….

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